Vanity out the window...

I need you to stop talking and listen to what I'm about to tell you, I felt like a child being scolded in the church on a Sunday morning, Being discreetly poked and prodded by a sibling till eventually you swing recklessly in the general direction of your tormentor, Only to find the target you struck is much bigger and Is your Mother and has the authority to grab you by the wrist and tan your hide as everyone around you laughs
At your obvious blunder,There was nobody else laughing here,  Except strangely enough me!
I'm sitting on an examination table in a hospital But not the type you find in an accident and emergency, Therese no blood on the floor, No multi coloured plastic chairs from the eighties long past their sell by date And certainly no drunks or junkies standing in in such a manner, usually in a corner, That defies the laws of physics,  Eyes closed, drooling, arms kind of doing their own thing And all their weight seems to be on one toe! Amazing to watch How do they not fall over? Nobody knows, Its something my friend Pat refers to as Junkie Thai chi! No this was a sterile environment, Grey paint on the walls, grey doors and even some grey faces! Everything was so devoid of life, Not a plant or flower in the waiting room, I was later told that, That's to ensure anybody with allergies doesn't sneeze... Listen, There are only three reasons that you could be in this room today, One is Parkinson's, So your kinda fucked, Then Therese MS Which means you will be fucked up...And the third is Motor Neuron, Which means your completely fucked!!! So I don't think an occasional sneeze is gonna wreck my day! One of the grey faces there was the receptionist, Young Not unpretty! But looks like shes sucking a lemon when,  Greet would be a strong word, Processes you would be apt.

You've got Parkinson's disease! JUST LIKE THAT, I suppose Therese no nice way to tell someone  that they've got an Incurable, Progressive illness that over the years will rob you of your movement, Your speech your very essence, And we don't know what causes it or why or how you got it And that you should take this medication which may not work at all, And if it does There will be real nasty side effects, MABY! And in the meantime you should just get on with your life, As best you can! Of course.
I kind of felt sorry for the neurologist, Imagine being an expert in your field, Yet having no answers, Ones you knew to be truthful and certain anyway...Kind of like being a politician I guess! For less pay. Well backhanded perks anyway!
Twenty minutes later I'm sitting in my car outside my apartment, It was that quick, I'm on the phone to Rebbeca Murray, My boss But more importantly my friend, I'm coming over, Please don't, I need some time alone,Some time to think, some time to possibly cry...I don't know for sure, But until i got the action correct I'm on my own! after a bit of debate she reluctantly agreed.
The next month or so was what I referred to as the thirty days of tears! There were and really are no organisations who can really help, I mean really help, But Therese a little ray of light for PD sufferers who want to talk, If your that way inclined, What I'm discovering about PD is that you can suffer hugely from depression And i think I'm stating the obvious is That if you suffer from Depression You probably don't want to talk!!The ray of light i mentioned would be a small organisation who are completely patient oriented, Because they too suffer from PD, There called Move4parkinsons.com

I very quickly had to get hold of my condition So as not to let it take hold too soon, I was and am fighting it every day, so between the gym,bike and medication I get good hours of quality of life!
So when it works these little dopamine tablets they can boost my levels slowly and in a kind of jerky fashion, by this i mean Therese no fluidity in my movement And my thoughts are always foggy, Losing my train of thought very easily...But when it wears off its crash time!...Complete stiffness, cant talk, cant breath, pins and needles in my hands and feet, No balance and no coordination.
And vanity goes out the window!
I try to time the meds as best I can but its not easy, And as a result Ican find myself reverting back to the thirty days of tears!
The upside is that I'm loved!