I regret to inform you that your application for disability has been declined And the reason for this is that we have no money to give you And we would be grateful if you would just fuck off and die!....Preferably some where on a beach below the tidal line so you would just wash out to sea!
Yours sincerely
A horrible disgusting person.
Now I'm sure by now you've figured out what portion of this letter is fact and whats fiction, But I'm just trying to convey the impact this would have on someone if they were entirely dependant on the paltry payment of one hundred and eighty euro per week, due to a disability of some sort, No this is not my position yet And I stress yet because as I'm painfully aware the eventual outcome of this disease is as individual as the individual themselves!
I rested the letter on the glass table in the kitchen and let out a sigh, Not of frustration, More of acceptance, I knew three months ago when I was filling out the several different forms your required to complete before they will consider your application, That I wasn't going to get a happy reply, I wouldn't call it negative thinking, You know I'm not a negative person! But that last comment alone would imply that i am by virtue of the fact that I used the word not...or is it the word negative?...I don't know...I'm confused!..........Ok Lets just call it the opposite of positive and be done with it!!
Now I work everyday as you do, I get up in the morning I iron a shirt, I shower and shave I get dressed and I arrive at work for the most part in good form.....But this is where the similarities end! The tingling sensation starts in my left foot as well as in my fingers Which quickly turns to cramps and stiffness, Not just confined to just these regions It rapidly spreads through out my entire body, Rendering me quite useless,Then comes the confusion... I lose some of my ability to reason where the simplest of tasks become nai on impossible! I can feel the tablet I took an hour ago still trapped in my throat, No matter how much water i drink it wont shift , I suspect it could be a residue of ex smokers mucus, Something that's not pleasant to ponder but I'm told that can last for years! So until the meds reach my stomach and has a chance to dissolve, There will be no relief from my symptoms. An hour or so later,
About the time the second or third table is filled for lunch I can feel a reprieve coming, I really mean it just seems to literally wash over me over the course of ten minutes loosening everything up, Do you remember that scene in Forest Gump when he's being chased by the bullies in a truck and he can barely run But as the leg braces start to fall off piece by piece his speed increases until he's out of sight and their left scratching their heads! Well that's me! And while I will avail of this wonderful reprieve schlepping from table to table smiling and exchanging short exaggerated stories with the customers almost like a game of mine's bigger than yours...I always let them win...The tips are always better that way! I know that I'll be back in the same boat in about two hours or so, Maybe three if I'm really lucky But then I run the danger of running out of steam completely if its left too long, With a long recovery after medicating for the second time today.
I do wonder whats to become of me, If the job or rather jobs were to go, What then? Its been made completely clear by the lovely lady at the department of social protection That while she didn't wish to be physicas or didactic...OK I added that in, Just wanted her to sound like a complete tosser! She wasn't...She was quite lovely. No I wonder at what stage of losing my job do I have to vacate my rented apartment, Id suggest that it could be what I refer to as the six paycheck rule, Most people will have in their bank account the equivalent of six weeks pay,Now that figure is determined by the obvious, How big was your paycheck!! The bigger the check the better your doing! For some of us however it would be a rather quick fall from grace,And I'd have to with all my possessions
move into the jeep I own which is off the road as I cant afford to tax it! So I'd be forced to park outside the bective clubhouse in Donnybrook, Where I know there would be a hot shower and a gym to help fight the symptoms of Parkinsons! And of course there would be several shops and restaurants to eat at..................Oh no! I forgot, I'm not entitled to any disability payments or help!
I stick by this 6 paycheck rule, I had met plenty of people in the USA last year in a similar position...
This is more their story than ours...But it could end up being ours too one day
Not so much a short story this time...More of a short fact!
I don't who said this but it makes sense... Society shall be judged by it's treatment of
the elderly, The inferm And the vulnerable!
for you Aoife.
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