Cothrells row is treacherous at the best of times, I couldn't tell you off the top of my head the exact degree of the slope,But what I can tell you is that if you attempted to run down this hill at full belt you wouldn't make it to the bottom, On your feet Anyway! I know this from personal experience, I've got the scars to prove it! Sufficed to say it was very steep, Now add into the equation a broken ankle covered in plaster and a pair of crutches with the rubber things at the bottom worn out, So much so that on a good day on a flat surface at speed I could create sparks, but not here, This hill was to be given the utmost respect At least until the steps leading down the side of Carrs shop, As I gingerly made my way down the uneven steps having to compensate for the difference in height of each one, Who ever coined the phrase The don't make em like they used Would if they saw these steps add to that...Thank fuck!
On the last step I'd have to stall and poke my head around the corner to see if the old man and his work colleague Willy Glanville were by chance heading down to the Pilot boat at the camber to head out to pick up or drop off a pilot to one of the many ships in the harbour, I decided to have a smoke while I waited, appreciating the beauty of Cork harbour as the sun rose and burnt off the slight haze that hung over Spike island.
My thoughts wandered to the slight whiff of perfume left on my shirt as a result a very close encounter earlier that morning with a young American girl named...No she shall remain nameless, It wouldn't be right! I wondered was she thinking of me at that moment? She probably was, No I know she was because only two hour ago we declared our undying love for each other in the throws of what at the time seemed like the greatest love scene ever played out, In hindsight I'm sure I've seen dogs make a better job of it out side the BMC stores down town, But what did I know, I was sixteen!
While I had been standing there day dreaming I had failed to notice the car pull up in front of me, The familiar face of Willy Glanville looking at me with that cheeky grin he has, Alright Dave how are you? He knew well how I was..., I was fucked! I thought....you were...My dad...the boat...What? I couldn't string a sentence together, Only a couple of hours ago I was the velvet tongued Romeo who couldn't put a foot wrong, The only thing that could be worse right now was if I pissed my pants, Thankfully I didn't!...That I recall, About then Willy pipes up, No it was very quiet so your Dad left early, He's at home And sure I'm away now as Paddy arrived in early ,Good luck....And he drove off, I had a rock in my belly, What the fuck was I going to do?
I made the last forty metres last a life time, Knowing that it would be a long time before I was let out again, The only consolation was that the American girl was flying back home that day so I wasn't inclined to miss any Mills and Boone moments, with her anyway! God, Now that I read that back I can understand why women think men are pigs! But as I said earlier I was sixteen...So what did I know? As I approached the door I could see that the key was in the lock, Today that might be an indicator that someone leaving the house had forgotten something and had slipped back in for a moment, Not generally the case back then As I recall there were numerous times the key stayed in the door all day, Whether you were at home or not! The curtains were closed but I could see the light was on as they never no matter what you did quite closed flush, Ha I knew what he was up to, He'd baited the trap, I bet he had closed the living room door so as not let any light shine through the glass panels on the front door And he thought I'd quietly turn the key and attempt to creep upstairs, Which to be fair I'd done before But never with a broken ankle! But my plan was even more ingenious And daring, I would shinny up the sewage pipe on the side of the house making my way in through the upstairs bathroom window which I knew had a broken lock! And step into the bath And from there all I had to do was open the door and literally my bedroom was right there, All the while holding my crutches! Surprisingly it wasn't that difficult, I reached the ledge about fifteen feet up and slid the window down, Now this was the difficult part having to get the broken ankle in first as there was no traction on the bottom of the cast, So no grip and it also changed my centre of gravity, Again not that hard! Now get the other leg in, Done! Now I'm sitting on the open window with it pressing against my lower back, Quite uncomfortable But I knew there was only one more move And I was in like Flynn! I pushed hard scarping and hurting my back a bit and as I touched down I prematurely congratulated myself,And then... WTF!! I instinctively knew what it was as it filled both my cast and my shoe together but I still got a shock as only freezing cold water can shock you, No disrespect meant but I guess this was my titanic moment, It snatches your breath right out of your chest and immediately your knees lock out turning your legs into stilts...Stilts with a cast on the end! Stilts with a cast on the end with no traction!!! And I was under, Even with my head submerged I could hear the displaced water splash on the bathroom floor with a thump, Which meant that so had my Father! And as I surfaced still in shock, I could see his face smiling And I watched his lips moving hearing the words welcome home Romeo....Oh and your grounded!
For you Dad...
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